ToHaveSomeone
by thehalfbloodslytherinqueen
Summary: Harry defeated Voldemort, but what now? He is sent back to Dursleys for one last summer, but when he returns he isn’t the same. Is there someone who still cares for Harry. Snape helps Harry. Drugs/alcohol/selfharm/abuse !Might be triggering! Planned more than 20 chapters
1. Chapter1

The Dark Lord was defeated once and for all. He was never coming back. But the irony was that if you take something you have to give something. That's why Sirius, Cendric and many more people including Harrys parents had died. It was a disasterous war which left many people dead, injured or alone. One of these people was Harry Potter. Of course he wasn't dead or injured, not physicaly, but he was alone. Sirius was dead, Remus too, his friends had each other and anyone else had a family or someone. _Well I have the Dursleys at least,_ Harry taught sarcastically.

Dumbledore had told him that he needed to return to them for one last summer. That was because apperantly even though Voldemort was dead, the few faithful, not dead Death Eaters wanted to kill Harry for what he had done to their Lord. He knew he wouldn't be able to change Dumbledores mind so didn't even try. To be honest, he was tired. So fucking tired of everything - of all the fighting, the killing, everything. He had lost so many people and had killed someone. Even though it was Voldemort, he still wasn't ready and never would be ready to kill someone. He didn't understant how anyone could be so happy, when there was so much to be sad about. So while everyone was in the Great Hall celebrating the victory, Harry was upstairs in the Gryffindor Tower packing his trunk to leave for the Dursleys.

The next morning he was up early and went to the Great Hall for the last normal meal he would get for the rest of the summer. Although he didn't know if he could stomach anything after yesterdays fight. Most of the people in the castle were sleeping of hangovers of the previous days celebration.

When he entered the Great Hall there were only three people there. There was an Auror sleeping on one of the tables, Dumbledore and Snape.

The Headmaster looked well slept and he suddenly realised why these were the only two people up, because he remembered that he gad seen Dumbledore with half an empty Firewhisky bottle last night. Snape was a potions master he probably had some tipe of hangover potion, which they both

probably had used. Dumbledore as usual had a spark in his eyes and a smile on his face. Snape too looked like the usual self not a hint of joy on his face, because of the Dark Lords defeat. As soon as Dumbledore saw Harry he conjured another chair and put it next to Snapes.

"Good morning, Harry. Yes, this really is a great morning," he half replied to himself, half said. He sounded as cheerful as ever.

"Um, yeah, good morning, sir" he hadn't slept well thanks to all the nightmaires that still hinted him and he probably looked awfull. For just a split second Snapes facewent surprised and Harry taught that Snape noticed that.

Harry took a toast and poured himself some coffee and as soon as some Aurors started enterong the Hall he put on his boy-who-lived-only-to-defeat-voldemort, golden boys mask that everyone were expecting.


	2. Chapter2

"Come on, boy, be faster, if you don't want it worse," it was Harrys uncle shouting. As stupid as he was he understood that Harry had done his job in the wizarding world and noone would care about him anymore so his punishments were worse than usual and if Harry hadn't med David at the start of the summer and hadn't started smoking and drinking he taught he wouldn't have survived this far.

One night he had sneaked out of the house and started walking around Surrey when he came across a party with a lot of people inside and outside. He went in and somehow ended up smoking weed with the partys host - David.

They started talking and both understood that they could be friends. Harry didn't need to say anything but after some time talking and seeing the bruises all over Harrys arms and neck, David understood that Harrys home life wasn't the best. After the party David gave Harry some drugs, alcohol and weed, if Harry wouldn't be able to get out of the house some night for whatever reason.

Almost every noght Harry sneaked out to go to a party. He met some of Davids friends, who taught him to skateboard, and they did stupid shit together. They gave Harry a tattoo of a small owl. Harry drew the design himself.

Even though Harry still missed Ron and Hermione he understood that they were happy together and their families would be better without him. They all had their own lives and families.

Harry loved getting drunk so he wouldn't have to think about anything. He just loved the feeling. After all that had happened in his life, all he had to go through, he needed this kind of free feeling.

So now his usual day went like this:

-wake up at 6 o'clock

-smoke some (or a lot of) weed

-make breakfast for the Dursleys

-drink some alcohol and do all the chores

-make lunch and then dinner for Dursleys

-sometimes get beaten by Vernon

-sneak out to a party

-get back before 6, sleep just to be awaken by nightmares

He, thankfully, didn't get caught, but sometimes Petunia could smell the alcohol, but she never said anything. He got quite skinny over the summer and Ann, Davids girlfriend, always made him eat and reminded that he should eat more which reminded a little bit of Hermione. But to be honest he didn't even want to eat, he prefered alcohol or weed or something like that, which numbed him.

This was yet another evening when Vernon had decided that Harry hadn't done all the chores properly. So he told Harry to wait for Vernon in Harrys room. Knowing there was nothing he could do he went up to his room and drank some whiskey to make the beating go by faster.

"What are you waiting for, boy, take off your shirt and go stand by the wall!" Vernon vame in with his belt in his hand and a smirk on his face. Harry did as he was told and stood by the wall, hoping that the alcohol would start taking effect. "You missed a spot on the fence, boy. That won't happen again." Vernon said and started his punishment which Harry taught was little inadequate. Harry knew better than to cry out each time the buckle end slashed his back. He had learned that quick. By the twelfth or thirteenth time the belt hit his back he made a huge mistake. He didn't know what happened but suddently he cried out.

"Uhoh, sensitive today, aren't we? Well I taught you would have learned this leason, but I guess not." Vernon mocked him.

"Dudley!!" he shouted, "Bring me a knife from the kitchen, please!"

Even though Harry was kind of drunk he started panicking. Knifes were never good. There were already too many scars on his back and torso from them. At that moment came Dudley with a sharp, shiny knife in his hand. Vernon took it and Dudley simply went away.

"Well, boy, turn around," Vernon said and waited. Harry turned around felt his heart racing.

"We should start simple I think," and he started cutting small lines into Harrys body. Now he could feel blood flowing down his back and his chest. The last thing he remembered was his uncle saying that there is going to be a lot of scars after tonight.


	3. Chapter3

The next morning Harry woke with an aching body. He could feel dry blood on his body, in his clothes and on the mattress. He looked at his torso and saw only blood and ribs sticking out and he could bet his back was the same. His uncle had went a little bit too far. He took a joint and started smoking. A half an hour later his aunt came to his room.

"Clean this up, boy, then you can go in the shower. Don't be too long, if you want to get to that school of yours," she informed him and went away.

_Wait, what day is it today, _after looking in his small calendar, he realised it was the day Hogwarts Express leaves.

He as quick as he could with all his bruises, cleaned the floor from the blood and went into the bathroom. This wasn't the first time he cleaned up after his beating. In fact, almost after every time he cleaned. Petunia didn't want to be close to it.

He went in the shower and was ready in three minutes. All the cuts and bruises stung and it was painfull, but he did it. He quickly throwed everything in his trunk and with all the power he had left carried it downstairs. He really did want to get away from the Dursleys.

Harry wuickly made them breakfast and ran upstairs. He took out his wand, cloak and the photo album along with bag with all his alcohol, ciggarettes, weed, drug stock. There were only a little bit of weed and alcohol so he decided he would need to find a dealer somewhere in Hogsmade. He smoked one last ciggarette while they were eating and ran downstairs.

"I don't care that you are hurt. If you don't hurry up, I'm not gonna drive you there." Vernon shouted

"Yes, Uncle Vernon." Harry responded politely just so he wouldn't have to spent more time than necassary with his loving relatives.

They dropped him off three hours before the train leaves so he took his trunk and found a bench somewhere on the Platform 9 3/4 where noone could see him. The Platform was quiet for now. There wasn't anyone there yet. People would start arriving only two hours later. He took out his ciggarettes and his half empty whiskey bottle. He smoked until the train arrived. He quickly found a compartment at the furthest place possible and immediately locked the doors. Harry placed Glamout Charm on himself. He had learnt it on the second year when Vernon had started to be more cruel than ever. Nobody had noticed them ever and he was glad. _No one needs to know how pathetic I am. Can't even stand up to a muggle. _

He took out his DADA book and started reading the first chapters. They didn't have summer assigments. Everyone inlcuding professors wanted to celabrate and no one wanted to think about learning. No matter how hard tried focusing on the book, his taughts drifted to his friends. Ex-friends now. The only reason they wanted to be his friends were because of his fame as the boy-who-lived. They didn't care for him.

Some time after the train started moving a group of friends went by probably looking for a place to sit. Harry recognised them. They were Slytherins. Draco, Blaize and Nott. Seeing only one person in the compartment they decided to sit there.

"Potter, Is it alright if we sit here?" Malfoy asked. Even though they weren't enemies anymore, the thaught of them being friends was wierd, but Harry didn't mind them. "Sure, why not." The boys entered and an akward silence filled the compartment. Malfoy had enough. "So why aren't you with your friends, Potter?" the blond boy asked.

"Well..people change, I guess," Harry didn't care what people would think about this. He just wanted to get his education and get away from anyone.

Harry continued reading his book while the three slytherins started discussing the new professors and what the school year is going to be like.

It wasn't long when the ever mind-blowing castle - Hogwarts - appeared.

And so another year began.


End file.
